A Nervous System Reckoning with Hookup Culture

Part 1: The Hijack

How Sex Positivity Became a Culture of Numbness

Note: This piece is not an attack on sex—or the diverse, liberating ways it can and should be celebrated. It’s a reckoning with how modern intimacy has been commoditized, hijacked by trauma patterns, performative freedom, and disembodied pleasure. It’s a wake-up call from the nervous system itself.

What happens to a body that gets fucked over and over again by strangers?

What happens to a soul that’s hijacked by a hungry nervous system, teased with intimacy—but denied nurture?

It dies a little, and then a little more.
Not metaphorically, not esoterically,
but in reality. In biology.
Because disconnection isn’t just sad. It’s fucking somatic.

The Nervous System Doesn’t Lie—Even If You Do

The body always tells the truth—even when you don’t.

Polyvagal Theory, from neuroscientist Stephen Porges, explains that your autonomic nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or threat.
It doesn’t care how many trauma memes you post.
It doesn’t care if you call yourself “sex-positive.”
All it does is ask one question:
“Am I safe to open?”

If that answer is no—and you still go through the motions?
Your system flips into freeze.
Your body performs consent while your soul whispers, “This doesn’t feel right.”

Keep doing that over and over—and the whisper dies.
The split becomes your baseline.
That’s not freedom.
That’s self-abandonment in designer clothes.

FWB = Fuck Without Balance

We call it “friends with benefits.”
But let’s be real: most of us are just using each other to co-regulate without commitment.

According to Gabor Maté, “We all regulate each other’s nervous systems.”
Every touch, every breath, every presence either calms or spikes your internal chemistry.
So when you use another human to feel good—
to spike your need for a dopamine kick—
but leave before their system can stabilize?
You create energetic whiplash.

They’re left open, disoriented, vibrating.
You don’t feel it—because you’ve been numb for years.
And when the culture applauds you for it, you double down.

But is it friendship
when you exploit yourself and another for the benefit of insignificance?
It’s co-regulation with a time limit.
It’s disconnection dressed as openness.

Energetic Entanglement Is Real

Sex isn’t just physical. It’s energetic exchange.
Every orgasm is a hormonal, chemical, and emotional handshake.
Every fluid shared is data—loaded with unconscious memory, grief, desire, confusion.

When you sleep with someone, you’re not just sharing pleasure.
You’re entering their field.

This is what Collective Field Resonance (CFR) explains.
My framework reveals how individual nervous systems synchronize in intimate contexts—creating “fields” that amplify regulation or chaos.

So when you repeatedly enter bodies without grounding, without presence, without integration?
You aren’t just fucking around.
You’re fucking with the field.
You’re contributing to cultural field collapse.

You become a walking transmitter of dysregulation.
And you don’t even know it.

This Isn’t About Casual vs. Committed

Let’s be clear: this isn’t a sermon against one-night stands.
It’s not about saying you shouldn’t explore, taste, or connect casually—if it feels right, grounded, and nourishing for everyone involved.

This isn’t about extremes like addiction either.
What I’m naming is something much quieter—and much more pervasive.

It’s the casualization of dysregulation.
The normalization of nervous systems that can no longer sustain presence, depth, or coherence.
Because they’re overwhelmed. Fragmented. On survival mode.

That’s why “situationships” and “FWBs” and “just vibing” feel safer than love.
That’s why being “chill” became the new intimacy currency.

It’s not preference—it’s physiology.

And the result?
Uncommitted connections become the default—not because they’re evolved, but because our systems have collapsed under the weight of real bonding.

Our modern relationships are unrelated.
Open loops in human form.
Unfinished, unintegrated. Floating somewhere in digital space,
creating micro-wounds, energetic vacuums, unanswered questions, unresolved closure.

They aren’t evil.
They are lethal.
Why? Because they’re becoming normalized. Socially accepted.
Nobody questions them.
They spread like a virus—and subtly change reality.

The Spiritualized Transaction

We’ve industrialized this.
We’ve built one of the oldest industries in human history—and we’re too numbed out to see it.

Some men used to go to sex workers knowing it is a transaction.
You pay. You get your fix. You leave.

Now we’ve spiritualized it—
and many women go along with it, not because it nourishes them, but because culture calls it freedom.
Now we fuck for “liberation.”
Now we ghost like gods.

And we think because we didn’t pull out a wallet, there’s no price.

But it isn’t free.
In business, we call it TCO—Total Cost of Ownership.
And here’s the real cost you own:

  • Nervous system depletion.
  • Energetic fragmentation.
  • A whole generation too disconnected to feel love when it shows up right in front of them.

We’ve stopped paying in dollars, euros, or Swiss francs.
Now we pay in presence.
In peace.
In the slow erosion of our ability to fucking feel and relate.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Hollow – Virtue, Reverence, and the Collapse of the Inner Sanctum.